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Sexual issues basically come in two flavours: not enough sexual energy or too much sexual energy. What do I mean by “sexual energy”? We could also describe this as “erotic charge” – how aroused we get, how readily we are turned on, how sensitive our genitals are to touch and so on. Using the breath we can cultivate and direct the necessary erotic charge to remedy either of these imbalances.
Let’s look first at not having enough sexual energy. If this is the case we need to charge up our sexual centre, the pelvis, with an erotic charge. To do this is simple enough – we need to focus on our inhalation. When we breathe in, we take energy/nourishment in – oxygen is what sustains us, after all, and keeps us alive. By emphasising the in-breath we can increase the amount of energy we take in. This makes sense physiologically because our muscles need oxygen to work – the more oxygen they have (within sensible... Read more 20 March
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know” (John Keats, Ode to a Grecian Urn, 1819) For some time now, I have been reflecting on this in the context of sexuality and relationship. It seems to me that the only way to have a truly intimate relationship is by being truthful, wholly authentic. By sharing our inner most feelings and vulnerabilities as they arise in each moment, authentically and from the heart, we make ourselves truly available for relationship. The word relationship means to relate one’s experience to another and it is in doing so that we reveal our true self to the other. When we relate our experience authentically in each moment we make ourselves available for love. The more we reveal of ourselves, the more we make available to be loved. It also seems to me that if beauty is truth, then there is also a real, true and deep beauty in being exactly how... Read more 3 February
The topic of sexual surrogacy is a hot one these days, mainly thanks to Golden Globe nominated movie, The Sessions, which features a disabled man’s work with a surrogate to help him experience physical intimacy for the first time.
Developed in the 1970’s by Masters and Johnson surrogacy is a specific process that occurs in a tripartite arrangement between client, surrogate and psychotherapist. The client has sessions with the surrogate and then both client and surrogate report back to the therapist about progress and any issues that arise during the intimate work. The therapist then supports the client to process this material in the therapeutic space. The combination of talk work and touch/intimacy coaching can be a transformative experience for clients. There is a great need for this type of work. Around 4% of the population remains a virgin at the age of 25. For others, disability or issues of shame prevent both men and women from experiencing... Read more 24 January
I’ve written a lot about mature masculine and mature feminine but today I want to talk more about what stops us stepping more fully into those roles and how we can become more aware and empower ourselves to embrace who we truly are and not to remain constrained by our limiting beliefs and historic woundings.
Pulsation of Life Our natural state of being is one of pulsation. As human organisms, we pulsate. Most notably we can notice this in our heartbeat, our lungs, our digestive system, the cerebral spinal fluid amongst others. This state of pulsation is part of what defines us as living beings. Wilhelm Reich, father of Body Psychotherapy called it the pulsation of life. Every living thing has these pulsations. This pulsation consists of two elements: expansion and contraction. For example, the lungs expand with air as we inhale and then contract or return to a less expanded state as we exhale. These states of expansion... Read more 24 January
I’ve written a lot about mature masculine and mature feminine but today I want to talk more about what stops us stepping more fully into those roles and how we can become more aware and empower ourselves to embrace who we truly are and not to remain constrained by our limiting beliefs and historic woundings.
Pulsation of Life Our natural state of being is one of pulsation. As human organisms, we pulsate. Most notably we can notice this in our heartbeat, our lungs, our digestive system, the cerebral spinal fluid amongst others. This state of pulsation is part of what defines us as living beings. Wilhelm Reich, father of Body Psychotherapy called it the pulsation of life. Every living thing has these pulsations. This pulsation consists of two elements: expansion and contraction. For example, the lungs expand with air as we inhale and then contract or return to a less expanded state as we exhale. These states of expansion... Read more |